Just Another Day!
by linwe22
Summary: Here's some craziness for Furuba fans! Every day at the Sohma household is wacky. and when Ayame visits to impart some 'wunnerful' news, its no exception. just a bunch of random stories! Chapter 3, '"Kyo's Fish", is up! PLEASE, PLEASE R&R!
1. Love Fest!

It was a normal day in the Sohma household. Shigure was pretending to write, Tohru was at work, and Yuki and Kyo tolerated each other enough to the point that they could sit in the same room to watch TV. They completely ignored each other as they watched Mogeta.

Then, as usual, their world was completely turned upside down.

"Yuki- kun! The most wunnerful thing has befallen me!" Ayame whirled into the room, a springtime of roses falling in his wake. "Oh- Kyo-kun, 'Gure! You must hear this, too! But first-" he adjusted his flowing white robe, ignored Kyo's dark look, and pounced onto Shigure. "Oh dearest, it has been too long! Has the love of our youth faded so much that you no longer have the time to visit me?"

"Brother of my soul, I am so sorry I have neglected you so," Shigure cried, squeezing him back. Tears leaked out from his closed eyelids. "But I always assumed that you would much prefer Hatori's company to my own."

"Dearest Gure-kun, we shall always be the Super Handsome Blossom Trio! Together, we are one! Don't ever doubt the power of love!"

"Love!" Shigure cooed. Cradling Ayame's head in his hands, he gently brought his head forward until their foreheads were touching. "Speaking of love… I insist you stay the night. Since Kyo-kun and Yuki-kun have refused to sleep with me, and the last time I mentioned it to Tohru-kun I was thrown to the streets, I have found myself without a cuddle buddy. Please, will you fill the empty void in my life?" He pressed his head forward until they were cheek to cheek.

"Oh, Shigure… not in front of the kids…. We will discuss this later, no?" Smiling gently, Ayame disentangled himself from their embrace and turned toward Kyo and Yuki. In a rare moment of unity, the cat and the rat were leaning against each other, both of their faces as white as sheets. While Kyo looked like he wanted to throw up, Yuki was mumbling to himself under his breath as if in a daze.

"My… my eyes…. they… burn….."

Ayame grinned and plucked a flower from the air, waving it under his brother's nose. "Little ones, you obviously have little experience in love if as small a display of affection as this has dazzled you. But no worries, I shall cure you of your inexperience. Come to me!"

He held his arms open. No one moved, except Shigure, who nibbled his thumb and stared at Ayame with wide, woeful eyes. Sighing, Ayame hugged the man cursed by the dog and tutted. "Yuki-kun, I'm ashamed. You will press yourself against Kyo-kun, yet you refuse to hug your own brother? You make me feel as if the world has fallen into an ocean of despair, little brother, and I have forgotten how to swim."

As Shigure promised swim for the both of them, Yuki jerked away from Kyo. The two were glaring at each other when there was a tentative knock on the door.

"Um…. Excuse me…. I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

Kyo froze, every single hair on his body bristling.

"K- Kyo-kun… is that… you?"

Kagure stepped into the room, wringing her hands and staring at Kyo with large, watery eyes. Her dainty chin trembled at Kyo's look of horror. "It- it really is you, Kyo-kun. I thought…. I thought…. I would never see you again. I thought you were dead, since you didn't… you didn't…"

No one moved, no one tried to escape. They were caught in the eye of the storm, and they knew it.

"YOU DIDN'T CALL ME!!" Everyone watching winced as Kyo was slammed against the wall, then thrown through a door. The house shook as the small girl hefted the tall boy above her head, spun him around, then smacked his head against the ceiling a couple of times for good measure. The fit ended with Kyo cursing and Kagure sitting on his back, twisting his arm above his head.

"WHY DON'T YOU LOOOOVE ME, KYO-KUN?! I LOOOOVE YOU!"

She sniffed, hiccupped, then released his arm, stepping away. "Oh, Kyo-kun… What happened to your lovely face? Who did this to you? I'll get you some ice, my love, and nurse you back to health. Don't move."

Kyo mumbled something through a bruised and bloody mouth, not even bothering to sit up. He didn't want to induce the boar's wrath once again.

Ayame sighed, trying unsuccessfully to twine Yuki's fingers with his own. His hand was periodically slapped away. "Well, little ones, do you understand now? Love is indeed a powerful thing." He cut doe eyes at Shigure, who giggled like a girl and fiddled with the sash at his waist. Then he looked past the dog to the smashed front door, and squealed. "Hatsuharu- kun, its you! Have you come to join in on the Festival of Love?"

"I would love to join, but…" he looked at Yuki, who groaned, his face even paler. "I'm afraid I'm still heart- broken over my first love. I couldn't celebrate anything in the state I'm in." he sighed deeply. The serious look on his face as he said that made Yuki so sick he stepped outside for air- and ran straight into Hatori.

"Hatori-chan," Yuki breathed. His knees weak, he clutched at the dragon's sleeve like a drowning man clutched at a life preserver. If, at that moment, someone had asked him what God looked like, he would have sworn he had but one good eye. "Save me…"

Hatori nodded and swept into the room, his lab coat billowing around him like a cape. Excited by his appearance, Ayame threw some of his flowers into the air for added effect.

"Tori!! I'm so happy to see you!" Ayame launched himself at the doctor, who dodged with all of the experience of a man used to dealing with small children- or full grown men with long white hair. Same difference.

"Let's go, Ayame. I'm here to fetch you, as usual. I should get paid for this," he muttered under his breath.

Shigure pouted. "What, so you never come just to say hello? At this rate, the Super Handsome Blossom Trio will have to break up! No one wants that, Hatori."

Knowing that begging to differ was pointless, Hatori simply sighed and grabbed Ayame's arm (which made him squeal, once again, with joy) and dragged him out of the house and into the yard.

Ayame blew kisses and tossed flowers as he was dragged away. "Farewell, my friends! This has been a most fantabulous Love Fest, to be sure!!" Everyone but Shigure (who was sobbing) ignored him. "Oh, and I guess I'll have to come again another day to tell you my amazing news! I look forward to seeing you all then!"

Instantly everyone, including the bruised and bloodied Kyo, was out the door.

"Tell us NOW, please!!" Yuki shouted. Ayame just smiled and flounced off in a swirl of sunshine, flowers, and the glow of love, chattering merrily about the birds and the bees.

Just another day…

**A/N: So, didya like it? Lol I loved writing it! I already have another Furuba story in mind that I hope comes out half as well as I think this one did. Well, if you liked it, PLEASE review, and I'll keep it comin!**


	2. Yuki's Greatest Fear

It was a normal day in the Sohma household. For once, Yuki had the house to himself. Bored, he was just settling down to watch some TV when…

_Crash_. "I'm sooooo sorreeeeeeeeeeee!" A plaintive cry echoed through the house. Yuki winced; there was only one person who could be so loud and sound so absolutely pathetic, both at the same time. As stumbling footsteps resounded through the hall and the door to the living room crashed open, Yuki whirled around.

"Ritsu, what in the world are you-" Yuki stopped and stared in horror, unable to believe his eyes.

It was Hatori, dressed in a flowing yellow kimono. His face was caked in obnoxiously bright makeup, and his chin trembled. The yellow bow tangled in his green hair bobbed and swayed as Hatori bowed repeatedly.

"I'm so sorry, Yuki, I'm so sorry." It was Ritsu's voice that squeaked from Hatori's muscular throat. "I really don't mean to intrude, I really don't, and I know you must hate me know, oh God you really, really do, I'm so sorry I can't blame you, I hate me too, the whole world hates me oh god I'm so sorry what should I do everyone hates me I hate me IamsopatheticI'msosorryIshouldgoI'llgoI'msosorryohgod-" he collapsed to the floor, his kimono flying up, revealing to a shocked Yuki a pair of muscular legs and teddy bear underwear.

"R- Ritsu? Is that you? What happened?! Why the hell do you look like Hatori?" He didn't even mention the whole 'dressed as a girl part'. He was used to it by now.

Ritsu/Hatori (let's call him Ratori from now on, 'kay?) wailed and pounded the floor with his fists. "I DON'T KNOW!!" He sobbed. "Oh I'm so sorry Yuki, I didn't mean to yell. Oh no you really hate me now don't you? Okay I'll just go now thanksforhavingme'kaybye." He ran back out the door, arms flailing.

"Wait Ritsu!" Yuki grabbed his arm, wishing that he lived in a country very, very far away right now. The picture of Ratori in teddy underwear was still burned into his mind's eye. Still, he couldn't let the poor monkey run around town. Well, he _could_, but he wouldn't until he found his camera. "Calm down, Ritsu. Just breathe."

"Oh no I'm so sorry now I can't even BREATHE right. I'm so useless!"

"Yuki! Hatori! What the hell's going on?!" Kyo yelled. Yuki groaned when he realized the voice came from Kisa, who was running across the lawn. Her hair was bristling.

"Oh, Kyo! it happened to you too! I am sooo sorreeeeeeee!" Ratori hugged Kyosa to his chest, and Kyosa grew pale.

"W- What the hell are you doing, Hatori?!"

"Oh my god Kyo doesn't recognize me any more oh no what should I do noonelikesmeanymoreIamsooooosadohIamsosorreeeeeeeeeKyoitsallmyfaultjustkillmenowIamsosorryIamtheuniverse'sbiggestfailure!" He gasped for air and blubbered like a baby as Kyosa gaped.

"R- Ritsu? Holy shit, its you!"

Just then Momiji's body, Kyo's body and Ritsu's body ran up.

"I'm going to be sick," Motori said weakly, staring at his real body in all of its flowery finery. "What's up with my face?"

"I'm scared, Shiro," Kiritsu shuddered, staring at her own body. "Why is Uncle Hatori hugging me like that?"

Shikyo hugged Kiritsu gently, making gentle shushing sounds and glaring at Kyosa. Kyosa glared right back.

"Stop using my body to molest Ritsu's body, you little twerp," Kyosa growled.

"Well I wouldn't have to comfort her if Hatori would stop harassing Kisa's body, okay, you stupid cat?"

"I'm not doing anything!" Motori protested, while Ratori began chanting 'sorry' like a mantra. Suddenly everyone was talking at once, and Yuki rubbed his temple tiredly.

"SHUT UP!!" He uncharacteristically roared. When everyone looked at him, he frowned. "I'm sorry all of you are stuck in other peoples bodies, but I don't know why you came here- its all way too complicated for me. It's not my problem, so I can't help you anymore, okay?"

"But, Yuki," Ratori whined, "It _is_ your problem!"

"What?!" Yuki looked down at his body, and for the first time noticed he was dressed in flowing white robes. He stared at his large, pale hands in horror, and fingered his long white hair.

Defeated, Ayuki fell to his knees and raised his tear- stained face to the sky.

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

**…**

**…**

**…**

**…**

**…**

**…**

The next morning, everyone woke up in their original bodies. No one in the Sohma family ever talked about it again- in fact, many refused to believe it ever happened. That is, until the day when some very questionable pictures of Hatori showed up……

Overall, it was just another day.

**A/N: I know that many probably found that very confusing, what with all of the weird names and everything. Lol I am actually glad it turned out that way- personally, I think it made it even funnier! XP anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	3. Kyo's Fish

It was a normal day in the Sohma household. Tohru was with her friends and Shigure was at a book signing when Momiji decided to stop by for a visit. He was eating some chocolate cake with Yuki when…

"Kyo-kun!" Momiji cried, frosting smeared across his face. He and Yuki looked up as Kyo entered the room. "It's great to see you! How are you? Where's Tohru? Hey, what do you have behind your back? Let us see!" He jumped up excitedly and tugged at Kyo's arm. The cat scowled at the bunny and bonked him on the head. Momiji promptly sat down and began to wail, tears streaming down his face.

"Ky-ooo! You're so violent! Yuki, Kyo hit me again!"

"He knows that, you silly rabbit," Kyo snarled as he edged towards the stairs. "He was sitting right there when I did it. Do you think the rat is blind, as well as stupid? …No, wait!" He cried. As Yuki sent him flying, the bowl Kyo was hiding behind his back crashed to the ground. Everyone looked down in surprise.

"Are those…. Fish?" Yuki asked weakly. "Kyo, what are you doing with goldfish? You… aren't…"

"Planning to eat them?" Momiji finished. His eyes welled up with tears. "Oh, Kyo…. You're so horrible…." Momiji scooped up the fish and ran into the kitchen, drops of moisture flying in his wake. Kyo wasn't sure if the moisture was from the fish or Momiji's eyes, and he didn't want to know. Then he noticed Yuki staring at him in horrified fascination.

"I- it's not what you think! Someone in class asked me to take care of them for a while! He's moving!"

"Hmmm…"

"I know what you're thinking! 'Kyo has friends in class'? well, yes I do! Not everyone sees me as a monster, you stupid rat!"

"Hm."

"And no! I didn't steal them! What, do you think that I'm so hungry that I would steal some guy's goldfish to cook up for dinner? That's just sick!"

"…"

"I am NOT lying! why would I lie?! I don't have anything to prove to you! Stupid Face!" Kyo punched a hole in the door, narrowly missing Shigure's shocked face.

"Shigure! When did you get home?" Yuki asked.

"What are you two doing? And why is there glass on the floor?" Shigure pouted as he examined his house. "Really, must you destroy everything I own? And after I went through all of the trouble of bringing you guys copies of my new novel, _Twincest_. I even signed them…"

Kyo gagged while Yuki did nothing at all; his blank eyes stared aimlessly into space. Then he blinked and smiled pleasantly at Shigure. "Shigure! When did you get home?"

Shigure sniffed and threw two bright pink books to the floor. "Well, fine! Be ungrateful!" He was about to throw a mega- tantrum when Momiji returned from the kitchen, a bowl with the fish in it cradled in his hands.

"Look, Gure-chan! We have fish now! I decided to name this one Ayame-" he pointed to the larger of the two goldfish- "and this one Hatori."

"Awww, they're so cute!" Shigure crooned. "And the names are perfect! We have to get a third one and name it after me! Then the three of us will always be together forever!"

"A scary thought," Kyo muttered.

"So, where did they come from?"

"Kyo brought them home!"

"Kyo, you did? But why would you… wait. No, it can't be… that's awful…"

At Shigure's questioning look, both Yuki and Momiji nodded solemnly. Shigure sank to the ground and covered his face with his hands. "Poor Hatori, poor Ayame… I was just getting to know and love you. Farewell, my friends, you are not long for this world…"

"I AM NOT GOING TO EAT THEM!! SHUT YOUR STUPID FACE!!"

"Wow, Kyo. You're so eloquent with your retorts today." Yuki smirked.

"Um, you guys…" Momiji's quiet voice went unheard.

"Okay, you stupid rat. That's it. today's the day I will finally defeat you!"

"Guys…"

"That day will never come, you idiotic cat. But I'd like to see you try to lay one finger on my sleeve."

"Hey, you guys…"

"No, Kyo! Stop it, Yuki! You mustn't fight! Don't taint Ayame and Hatori's final moments with the harshness of reality! Come, we must hold hands and send them off in peace! Who's up for a stirring round of Coom- Baya? Okay, I'll start! _Coom baya_, _milord, coom baya_! _Coom baya, milord_-"

"I swear, Yuki, I'm gonna kick you're ass… SHIGURE, SHUT THE F UP!!"

"_COOM BAYA, MILORD_-"

"YOU GUYS!" Momiji yelled. "HATORI'S DOING THE NASTY WITH AYAME!!"

**…**

**…**

**…**

**…**

"What did you say, Momiji?" Kyo asked quietly. Yuki was staring blankly into space again, most likely dreaming of getting his ears surgically removed. It would be less painful than hearing that sentence again.

"I said-"

"I heard you the first time, Momiji. Never mind."

"_Somebody's_ got the hots…"

"Shut up, Momoji. And for god's sake, put the bowl down."

Shigure was on the brink of tears. "Oh, Hatori…. Why Ayame? Why? Am I not good enough for you?" He raised one feeble fist to the sky. "The power of love… it is deserting me… Yuki, help me! I cannot go on…"

Yuki blinked and stared at Shigure. "Shigure! When did you get home?"

As Shigure sobbed, Momiji began singing. "_Hatori's a girl! Hatori's a gi- hirl_!"

**…**

**...**

Needless to say, when Hatori heard of this incident, he was not pleased.

**…**

**…**

Ayame was ecstatic.

It was just another day…

**A/N: Wow, that one was oddly hard to write! But worth it :P**

**Well I'm starting to run low on ideas, so if anyone has anything they want to see give me a holler! Or even if someone would just REVIEW, I'd settle for that much (sniff). I NEED THE ENCOURAGEMENT, PEOPLE! **

**Sorry for the outburst. This chapter's gotten me all emotional… XP**

**Actually, this entire chapter was inspired by one line that randomly popped into my head: "Hatori's doing the nasty with Ayame". Lol that's something I thought I would never hear. :D**

**P.S. Anyone know what Twincest is from? Lol!**

**P.P.S. sorry about the obnoxiously long author's note. My bad!**


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